You Don't Know What It's Like
by shuusetsu
Summary: When a person steals and he is rich, it's called kleptomania. If the person is poor and uneducated, it's theft. That's how the world would look at it. Sadly, Takahashi Misaki's the latter. Poor. Uneducated. He didn't want to steal at all. But the urge is too much to bear. He didn't want to but kept on stealing from Usami. (two-part oneshot)
1. Chapter 1

**You Don't Know What It's Like**

* * *

He boredly blew a puff of smoke. Legs crossed, tie lose, hair gently messed up, the park was starting to get confused. Many bystanders were wondering if there was a magazine or a television shoot; what with the crazy looking red sports car parked at the side of the road, and a man hiding his annoyed eyes with obviously expensive shades.

"The tow truck got a flat tire on the way here? Bullshit..." he groaned while realizing that this was the second stick he'd had on that spot since his car's engine over heated and died on him. "And now, the second tow truck got in a traffic jam? Fuck."

He sighed again as he wandered his eyes around. The summer afternoon was harsh. He could feel the sweat running down his spine. It made him wonder how all those people were able to laugh while walking. The huge red shrine was just near him. People would flock in and flock out. All sweating and haggard from the summer heat. Their smiles as irritating as the waiting he was enduring.

Breathe in. Breath out. Breathe in. Breath out. He erased them all out in his field of vision. But he could still hear them. Talk about noise pollution.

_"I wonder how this noisy place became a tourist destination...?"_ he thought. He remembered he had written a feature about how this shrine was a place of meditation, prayers and tranquility. It was some years ago when he was just starting in his career as a writer. He gave it a second look now and his irritation meter was about to max out.

Waiting, waiting and waiting were things he hated. He decided he'd leave the car after finishing the smoke, tow truck present or not. Eyes tired from the gray asphalt he'd been staring at for the last ten minutes, the man looked to the other side of the road. The lush, healthy trees were there boasting about its green leaves.

He further looked up to the bright sky. And then he went back further down. At a trash bin.

"...?"

Tattered looking clothes. Dirty face, dirty hands and dirty hair. They seem to belong to someone young. A young man indeed. A homeless.

Usami continued dragging his smoke as he watched the kid. Silently, he observed how cold Tokyo could be in this blazing heat. Happy people kept on passing by that certain area. Not even noticing the brunette scavenging through the trash bin.

"..."

Even from that distance, Usami knew what was in between the scavenger's hands. A half-eaten burger from McDonald's. Usami's cigarette almost fell from his lips. The kid patted the burger a few times as if what he was doing could kill all the germs present. Inhaled the scent and took a bite.

_"What?"_

Usami coughed from his own smoke.

"He ate it?"

The dirty face looked happy though as much as Usami was disgusted. Indeed, Tokyo was cold. And indeed, Usami knew he was one in that cold community who can stomach ignoring the homeless as long as they weren't becoming a bother.

"It looks like a feast to him huh?"

There he was, a person who had eaten almost all the exquisite foods in the world. Yet his palette could still not satisfy him. And then there was one eating someone else's left-overs. Cruel? No. To Usami that was just reality. There was a reason why he had the comfortable life and others didn't. Most of all it wasn't the least bit his fault.

"So what's next? Dessert?" Usami mumbled.

Homeless people, unknown to the many were just around Tokyo. As rich a country Japan is, the growing number of homeless couldn't be denied. They occupy shrines and public places at night and disappear at the same areas come the next morning, trying to distance themselves, not getting in the way. This scene had become a routine. To Usami it was the first time he had seen it with his own eyes.

"He's done and full..."

The man looked to his left and right then as if the show he was watching finally ended. The tow truck wasn't there still. And as what he had planned, he left his car for the tow service to pick up. That scavenging kid nothing more than a memory of that afternoon. Something that was easily forgotten come the next morning.

* * *

June was just about to end. Everyone was busy with their summer vacation plans. Some were just planning to stay at home. Some didn't have the priviledge to even plan anything at all. And some were in a VIP vehicle going to a classy restaurant for a meeting, but still couldn't find anything to be happy about.

"Why must I freaking ride in this shuttle with all these people?"

Usami was again boredly staring at the sky, ignoring the sky scrapers along the way. The woman beside him, classy and prim pretended to lift a pamphlet and used it to cover her mouth.

"Also...that woman, Hanagida something, she does know I have no interest in women right? She gives me creepy glances I could hurl."

"Sensei...you're too loud."

"Of course. Otherwise how'd they hear me?"

"Sensei! This is a big project with the best actress Hanagida Shuue. Just meet her today and go with the flow..."

The people in the front were only smiling. They were Marukawa Publishing Higher ups who of course had gotten used to Usami Akihiko's personality. Rather, it was becoming an amusing thing for them being the old understanding folks they were. Gifted people they know like Usami just didn't have the same perspective about things like they do.

"You better stick to the agreement Aikawa. I smile for an hour and I'd get a week off."

Usami could care less about Hanagida Shuue. Honestly he wasn't even aware that she exists until a week ago. When his recent novel had been decided to be turned into a movie, he had been dragged around to meet the director. To meet the leading actor. To meet the other key heads. Truthfully, the budget was extreme. A major film come Spring of next year. Usami could just not understand why they can't just all meet up, as in A-L-L, at once.

"..."

Traffic was building up. It was light to moderate with the occasional stopping from the pedestrian crossings. When they halted to give way to a familiar shrine goers, Usami's eyes went straight at the familiar trash bin.

Who on Earth ignores the cheery teenagers, their mini skirts and cool youngters and the shrine and instead look for a trash bin?

_"So there's three of them now."_

He wasn't looking for anyone in particular. Rather, he was searching for that kind of thing most tourist shows tried so hard to edit out. True enough, a few were under the trees. A few were trying to mingle with the shrine goers. But again, one stood out amongst the homeless. A brunette. Unpresentable. Skin and bones. Licking his lips slightly as if his throat was so dry.

When the shuttle began moving again, that's when Usami realized a little kid eating icecream just close by. The shuttle continued moving and gaining speed though until it made a left-turn. Right after Usami had set foot out the shuttle, what he saw earlier near the shrine was already gone in his head. He really had such short memory for things that wasn't really connected to him.

* * *

After an hour, around seven thirty in the evening, Usami Akihiko excused himself even though the huge actress Hanagida was hinting for a few more drinks at a bar nearby.

Usami was quick to disappear but when he stood in the middle of the underground parking lot, he nearly kicked the wall.

"I came here by shuttle..." he ruffled his hair exasperatedly and opened a few of his shirt buttons, his black coat thrown over one of his shoulders. "One after another...seriously..."

He walked out the restaurant's vicinity and observed the area. It was getting pretty tedious as he was just standing waiting for a taxi. And to add to his growing annoyance, every single one seemed to be occupied.

"Haaa..."

The man started dragging his feet to nowhere particular. He just needed to do something than just stand there. Further more, one of the old geezers's words at the meet-up earlier was plaguing him.

_"Usami-san...I heard you have made a statement before about your sexuality...?"_

_"Yes," _he good-naturedly answered. _"I just figured that in this industry, I needed to make myself clear as I do not want false rumors about me. Besides...I do not intend to hide it in the first place. I write the way I write because of who I am."_

If Aikawa that time was holding an acting trophy, she would have given it to the man and not to the actress by profession just sitting beside her.

_"Ah...Well said I must say," _the old man said with a smile. _"So then...are you happy?"_

_"..."_

Hanagida Shuue giggled sweetly. She patted her mouth first with the napkin before turning to the men talking. _"Usami-sensei here is very successful and has achieved a lot in such a young age. I think that's plenty enough reason to be happy."_

The old man rubbed his chin and just nodded. He said something else though that given the sitting arrangement, it was only Usami who heard it.

_"Indeed you have so much excess Usami-sensei. But you seem quite discontent..."_

Usami who was about to take a sip of his wine halted.

"_Have you ever thought why you have so much?"_

"What is that old man trying to say? That I join him with his charity works?" he laughed wryly. "Too much trouble."

He walked the crowded streets. And he hated every second of it. Too much noise. Too much people. It was a headache.

"..."

Usami looked ahead. His interest was becoming piqued. In front of him, well-dressed ladies who seem to be having a bar-hopping spree were there, a ragged looking form, so out of place from the well-groomed people were following behind.

His lavender eyes saw something that fell from one of the women's bag. The guy following behind picked it up hurriedly. And Usami then was struck by a feeling of recognition. The homeless kid back at the shrine.

"Uh..." dirty hands, holding a red Prada wallet was half-raised. "You dropped this..."

It was too soft. The street noise drowned it even further. And Usami ended up raising a brow.

"Wait! My wallet!" one of the ladies shrieked as she rummaged her shoulder bag. "Where-"

"Huh?"

"My wallet's missing!"

She hastily turned behind her and saw the dirty kid holding her expensive treasure. Her eyes widened with anger. She grabbed the red wallet and pushed the kid to the ground. The boy was that weak to land that hard with just a single woman's swing.

"Bastard! You dare take something from me! I'll bring you to the police!"

The kid just bowed his head, not saying or doing anything.

"Aww...come on Masa-chan, if we bring that brat to the police, it'd take too much time! Just let it go, you got it back anyway!"

The woman who owns the wallet thought for a while and sighed. But she still had the strenght to hit the boy on the head with the wallet once.

"Why don't you just disappeare here? You're an eyesore!"

A few minutes after the commotion disappeared, everyone started moving back like nothing happened. The kid on the ground, well he remained on the ground. He didn't even seem to have any plan on moving from that spot at all.

"Hey, you're blocking the way," one young man said.

The boy just looked down, ignoring the voice.

"..."

Usami narrowed his eyes. He took a few more steps until he was just standing so close behind the boys's back. The thing before him was indeed dirty. A little odd smelling too.

"Kiddo, if you don't move there, police will really come for you."

The boy looked up. Two pairs of eyes met. Usami stared. Likewise, the kid looked at the lavender eyes. It was an unrelenting gaze with no sense of recognition whatsoever.

"I twisted my ankle..."

"You what?"

"My ankle..."

Usami stepped back. You don't expect him to carry a smelly, scavanger to the nearest bench and attend to him right?

"I'll move..."

The boy perhaps knew this too. He didn't ask for help from anyone. Instead, he motioned to crawl.

Lavender eyes looked away. Instead he looked at the fast-paced life, the people hurrying to their own summer partying lives at bars and secret places. The cars continued moving. The people continued walking. When he looked back at the crawling kid, he saw beads of sweat to that already distressed and dirty face.

"Shit..."

"Uh-?"

Usami himself thought he must have been possessed by the deity of the nearest shrine. His hands he never even used for washing his own dishes reached out to the sticky arms. He helped the boy to get up. The slimy feel of the boy's skin bothered him greatly. He helped the boy towards some place where they could take a seat while not trying to breathe through his nose.

Finally being able to get into an open-area for smokers, Usami assisted the boy on the farthest empty bench. Usami was huffing. The boy was rubbing his eyes.

"Stop rubbing your eyes with those hands," Usami sternly said, discreetly searching for his hanky in his pocket. "I'll go buy us some drinks. Stay put."

The man hurriedly walked away. He kept on rubbing his hands against his hanky. The odd scent too must have stuck on his shirt, he already wanted to take it off. The prestine whitenes of his polo was now stained with dirt. He wasn't that very ozy with everything but he really needed a bath this time.

When he got back at the spot where he left the kid, the kid was staring at him strangely.

"What?" Usami asked, throwing the canned milk to the boy's lap. "Drink that."

Green eyes followed every movement of the man. From the man's classy motions in opening his canned tea to the way he roughly sat on the bench with his legs stretched out. The boy then inched farther from Usami. Usami noticed this too.

"What are you doing that for?"

"I smell..."

"Don't worry, it already is stuck on my shirt so no matter how much you make a space it's all the same."

"Uh..."

Usami began drinking his tea. His profile would sometime lighten up from a passing car.

"...Thank you Sir...I thought...you weren't coming back."

"Huh?" the man glanced at the kid beside him and looked away again. "Well to be honest I thought of really just going away. But well I'm here."

They drank their canned drinks in silence. The boy savoring every drop of his milk. Usami wondering the last time he ever sat on a public place for this long not for work purposes.

"Say, if you can't handle a decent life here in Tokyo, why not go back to the country side where you came from?" Usami asked out of the blue. "There must still be jobs available there for you. You're young after all."

The kid smiled wryly. "I wanted to. But Sir, I am undocumented."

That was the time Usami looked again at the kid after a long while. "Undocumented?"

"My mom told me my father is a Japanese, she's Asian but she never mentioned where she came from. They aren't married. Plus mom's stay in here was illegal too. A son of an illegal worker always running away from the deportation authorities, I am not recognized as a Japanese citizen."

"..."

Usami didn't ask anything after that. But the kid continued telling his tale. As if all this time he had been waiting for someone to ask him. He started having this very far away look in his eyes. A look that Usami was unfamiliar with.

"You see...my mom died when I was eight. I was lucky enough to be put in a shelter for kids like me..." the boy whispered. "Sons and daughters of illegal workers in Japan...born from encounters without marriage...Vietnamese, Indonesian, Malaysian...Filipinos...some Korean...we're all there...so many of us undocumented kids."

When Usami brought his canned tea to his lips, he realized it was already empty.

"The people in that shelter were really kind. They looked for foster parents who'd adopt me...fix my papers to become a legitimate citizen. I've had a few foster families too you know, it was fun...at least in the beginning..."

Usami cocked his head to the side while looking at the evening sky. "So why are you here then?"

The kid gripped his canned-milk tightly and sighed. "They all returned me back to the shelter. So many times it happened...I couldn't count it anymore."

"..."

"The last family was really scary though so I ran away and before I knew it, I was already this old, living like a rat."

Usami crushed the empty can of tea in his hand and glanced at the dirty kid. "Why did they return you?"

"Ahaha..." the boy forced a laugh, ignoring the question. "Sir thank you for listening to my ramblings. I cannot repay you but I'm sure God will for your kindness."

The silver-haired man couldn't believe what he was hearing that he gaped at the kid. He didn't know how to answer to that. God? Kindness? They were things that were at the last page of his dictionary after all.

"Well then...this is where we part I guess," Usami said, standing and straightening his shirt. "Well, pray to your God that someone kind then takes you in."

"I've been...every night."

"I see."

The boy watched the man with every bit of gratefulness. This elite man's actions was a first after a long while.

"Sir...thank you very much for helping me and listening to me," the boy said, almost wanting to stand up too but when he did, he was again reminded of his ankle. "Uh...May I know your name?"

The man looked at the kid briefly. Should he tell this kid or not? There were a number of modus operandi in the news too about kids being used by syndicates. He looked more deeply. The kid just waited for an answer.

"Usami. Usami Akihiko."

"Usami...Usami-san. Thank you very much."

"You are?"

"Eh?"

"What, you asked me, I am asking you."

"Takahashi Misaki."

"Is that your real name?"

The boy scratched his messy head. "I've used up a lot of names when I was younger...this is the last one...so I settled for this. Sorry."

"You don't have to say sorry about that thing," Usami said as he started walking away. "Well, good luck."

* * *

When Usami finally got into a taxi, he noticed something.

_"Ah shit...my coat..."_

* * *

It had been a month. Actually it felt so long ago that Usami was even wondering if that encounter with a homeless kid was even real. After all, all his actions that time, touching someone else who looked dirty and smelled kinda off, talking to him, listening to him, encouraging him somehow, were things he would only do in a dream.

Usami stepped out of his shower and grabbed the remote to turn the TV on. Still dripping wet, he moved from channel to channel. Just as when he was about to dry his hair, his home phone started ringing.

"Yes?" he lazily answered as he kept on switching channel with the other free hand.

_"Good afternoon Usami-san," _said the gentle voice of a woman. _"This is the mansion's reception area. There's a young man looking for you. He had no ID though and he is not in the list you provided who can be allowed to go up."_

"Young man?" Usami repeated. "What's the name?"

_"He said he's Takahashi Misaki."_

"Takahashi Misaki?" Usami finally saw something interesting at the TV that he started watching it already. "I don't know any Takahashi Misaki. Tell him to leave."

_"Alright then Sir, thank you."_

Usami placed the phone down, took the lighter beside the phone and placed a cigarette into his lips.

"Takahashi...who could that-"

As if struck by the sudden realization, Usami turned back at the phone and called the reception.

"Hello? Please tell the kid to wait for me at the lounge."

_"Eh? Ah, okay sir."_

Usami hurriedly dried himself up and fixed himself. He went out of his room with a slight smile. He felt that he somehow wanted to know what the kid's been up to after all.

* * *

The lounge was full of executive and business people. Some students from rich families in the same building were having study sessions at a far corner. There was an old couple all so sweet while sharing their frap. There were those who were just sitting and listening to their earphones.

"What the hell...am I looking for..."

Usami Akihiko almost smiled. He didn't really know and could not remember the kid's face. With the dirt and the dark, there was no way he had seen properly the kid's face that night. Besides, now that he had thought about it, how in the world was the kid able to get in? The guards wouldn't let him in looking and smelling like that after all.

"Usami-san, Usami-san!" a voice called. "Over here!"

When Usami turned to the direction of the voice, he realized it was coming from the seat occupying the one next to the old people. Bright green eyes beaming with joy, a hand waiving excitedly, a smile wide and genuine.

"Over here!"

"...?"

Usami walked towards the cheery kid. "Takahashi?"

"Hai!" the kid stood and bowed slightly. "It's nice to see you again!"

The silverhaired man nodded and took the seat in front of the kid. He kept on looking and finding out where was the homeless kid he saw before.

"Usami-san, here," the boy bent down and pulled something. He then placed a paper bag on top of the table. "You left this that time. Actually, there was a business card so I asked around for the address to look for you."

Usami just kept on staring. Speechless. Intrigued. The kid looked so well groomed. He was even wearing a tasteful coat fit for the starting Autumn season. His hands were all clean, his hair soft and silky looking, pleasant smell, and most of all, the boy seem to be extremely happy about something.

"Are you surprised Usami-san?" Misaki asked. He sounded like he was really comfortable.

"Huh? Surprised I am really speechless. Look at you. Were you just pretending to be the homeless brat back then?"

The boy laughed, but tried to be not too much loud. "Right? Even I was surprised that I could look like a human if I just take a bath."

Usami enjoyed the kid's animated face. "So? Why are you looking for me?"

Misaki scratched the side of his neck looking embarrassed.

"Err...I just wanted to return your coat and tell you that my prayer has been answered."

"Hmm..."

"It's like after meeting you, all good things started happening to me."

"Really?" Usami silently watched the boy. Those kind of words can be easily mistaken. But he knew the boy wasn't buttering it up for favor or anything. It just felt genuine, everything of it.

"Yes," Misaki nodded. "You see, after a few days, a woman came to me and talked to me about my condition. She said she's working for a private charity institution which aims to give people like me second chance."

"...second chance?"

"Hai! She said they'd send me to a place where I can have a job while continuing my studies. I've only reached fourth grade and it's always been my dream to continue..."

Usami kept on listening, absorbing everything.

"We'll be going tomorrow so I figured I'd say my thanks and farewell before that. It's going to be my first time riding a huge ship!"

The man moved his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his clasped hands. "Where are you staying now?"

"In that woman's place. I help around the household chores while waiting for the other kids from different areas," Misaki excitedly explained. "This coat, she gave it to me."

Usami's eyes were starting to get suspicious. That kind of deal was too good to be true. But Misaki, seemed to be too much clueless.

"Hey, do you have a business card of that charity or something?"

Misaki paused for a while at the sound of Usami's unhappy voice. "They didn't give any...but I think she said it's Tatsuhi Institution. A group of rich people giving out scholarships and jobs for undocumented people like me..."

"Are you sure about the name?"

"Uhm...yes..." Misaki replied, his smile slowly fading. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing," Usami said with a forced smile. "Since you're here already, let's eat. Aside from their main courses, the coffee and donuts here are quite well-known."

Misaki shook his head. "No it's okay. I just really wanted to share you that news."

"I haven't eaten lunch. Might as well join me."

"Eh..."

"Select anything from the menu list there on the table. I'll be back."

Usami left the happy brunette alone and went just outside the rest room areas. He didn't mean to pry. It wasn't him to do that. But he seriously just couldn't put down the ugly feeling the way Takahashi Misaki had described that heaven-sent opportunity. So there he was, calling the old man he talked to the last time he had to meet with the huge named actress Hanagida Shuue.

It took a number of rings before the other line picked up.

_"Hello? So strange for a man like you to be calling this old man."_

Usami closed his eyes and sighed. "Hi Ueda-san. I remember you work with charitable institutions right?"

_"Uh...yes...why? Did you decide already then to share your blessings?"_

"Could you please check if there's a certain Tatsuhi Institution for undocumented children and young people?"

The old man in the other line suddenly sounded serious. "_Usami...where did you-?"_

"I happen to hear about the name. Anyway, could you look it up soon? It sounds like a huge piece of shit to me."

Laughing, the old man said he would use his connections to sniff around.

* * *

After that call, Usami came back, seeing the brunette almost glaring at the menu.

"Uh, have you selected what you want?"

Misaki looked up and gave a defeated smile. "Usami-san, remember I told you I was transferred from foster home to foster home...I wasn't able to finish my fourth grade...I can't read Kanjis..."

"...?"

The boy sighed. "That's why I am very excited for tomorrow. I may be way too old for fourth grade...but if I could start learning reading and writing soon...that would be great."

The lavender eyes almost watched the kid with irritation. Common sense would dictate that the deal was too good to be real. Was this brat too thick not to realize that? But then, it could also be that the kid was being blinded by his own dreams.

"Were you an angel or saint in your previous life or something?"

"Eh?"

"Nah...you seem to be too trusting. Shouldn't you be more careful from those people?"

"What are you saying Usami-san? You supported me and almost carried me back then even though I was dirty, smelly and totally suspicious looking too. I really do believe that there are people who are just willing to help like you did."

Usami sighed. He was feeling tired of explaining things to the brat. How could he pound a sense of warning to that kid when the kid was like that?

"You make me sound like a hero..."

"You are! At least to me that time..."

Usami ended up just shaking his head while choosing food for the two of them.

* * *

The silverhaired man, who usually couldn't be bothered about anything else spent most of his afternoon listening to Takahashi Misaki's plans. His long-term plans like studying, being able to get his own place, the places he'd like to visit, the things he want to try out. There were so many that even Misaki gets confused at times with what he was saying.

Usami would nod every now and then. He started thinking if what he underwent to become so much this cold and reclusive could be justified. Compared to the brunette before him, the latter had more right to be un-trusting, cold and angry to the world than he was. Yet the kid was the opposite. It was admirable as it was a mystery.

"Sorry Usami-san, you even had to drive me..."

"No it's okay. You'll be leaving tomorrow right? Good luck."

The boy grinned as he unbuckled the seat-belt. "Thank you very much! You can just stop he-"

Misaki's unfinished words led the man driving press on the break. He followed the kid's line of vision. Police cars. Television news cars. People. A mess.

"...?"

Without a word, Misaki hurriedly went out the car. He staggeringly moved forward the people who had made a circle. His hands shaking, he forced his way into the circle. There were so many police coming in and out of the rundown house. The familiar faces he had spent the night with at a single room were all being escorted to a social-service van. Misaki couldn't understand what was going on. He couldn't until the last group of police officers came out with a woman in handcuffs. The press showering her with blinding camera shutters and questions.

That was when the young man felt that something great had just been destroyed.

_"No...I didn't do anything."_

Usami Akihiko called the old man right away when he saw the commotion. He was out of his car, his eyes at the crowd where the just-a-while-ago-enthusiastic brunette was standing. The strange thing was Misaki showed no reaction at all. The kid just stared blankly at the entire event before him.

_"No I didn't do anything. When I called one of my friends to ask, she told me that the police has already been eyeing a certain house for some time,"_ the old man explained. _"Their bogus is to sell the undocumented kids they were able to lure to internet pornography, sex slavers and illegal laborers around the world...it's hideous..."_

"I see..."

"_Usami...?"_

"What happens to those kids who were saved then by this entrapment operation?"

"_Uh...some would be put back to shelters...however, since they're already old enough to think on their own, most of them just end up going back in the streets. Undocumented kids literally are nonexistent. Legalizing them takes time and foster families mostly do not take older kids anymore...it's sad...but our system when it comes to this situation is still lacking."_

"Thank you, Ueda-san."

* * *

The setting sun seemed like a representation of dreams hiding again from the brunette's hands. He merely stood there, watching the capture of the woman he thought was kind and very motherly. He watched the van of his fellow undocumented young people go away and slowly disappeare. The only ones left were the ones from the media and gossipers.

"..."

Usami slowly approached the silent brunette and stood three feet away. The breeze was chilly and somehow depressing. The sound of the gossipers a buzzing noise adding to the hurt, deepening the injury. The red signal lights of the police cars were making the area filled of tension.

"They're gone...Usami-san," Misaki mumbled. "Am I cursed or something? I happen to not know if I have some strange birthmarks..."

The boy tried to joke. But his voice was very unsteady. "I'd rather not have been given this false hope...coz...now I am really starting to feel that I am so unfortunate...I'm such an idiot to believe her wasn't I?"

"..."

"You are probably thinking that I am acting like I was just born yesterday. Stupid, knows nothing."

"I have."

Misaki mockingly laughed at himself.

Usami had never been annoyed this much too. Because he saw everything. He saw the beams of light from that kid extinguished in an instant.

For a long while, the apathetic man he was, felt a sudden, surging pity at that very moment.

"Takahashi," Usami started. "Most people say I have personality problems..."

The boy just continued gritting his teeth, gazing at the rundown house that temporarily housed his dreams.

"Some even say I am bipolar..."

"...?"

"I tend to be selfish and I have more enemies than friends."

The kid slowly darted his gaze to the man near him.

"Lastly, I am gay."

"...?"

"Go to a shelter, stay in the streets, or take a space in my house. You choose."

The boy beside Usami never uttered anything in response to that. The man only felt a squeezing feeling deep in him the moment he realized trembling fingers holding out to his sleeve.

* * *

Two days, two nights. The door across Usami's room that has never been opened was now being occupied by someone unrelated by blood, someone he just saw a few times in the streets, someone he knew nothing except that the kid was a nonexistent citizen in the Japan government.

Usami Akihiko stood by the door frame. The kid did nothing but to just stay under the sheet covers, probably depressed and feeling stupid.

"Oi...I've got not much free time to babysit you, you know?" the man said straightforwardly. "How many days are you planning on getting depressed by that? Be glad that the fake institution got found out before you were even sold to work off your back or ass somewhere."

The small form under the sheets just got into a much tighter ball.

"Usami-san...I've got no experience with anything at all...I'm scared."

Usami frowned. "Scared of what?"

"Scared of...s-sex."

"Ha?"

Usami's crossed arms fell on his sides. He stared thoroughly on the trembling ball on the bed and suddenly started laughing.

"What-you think I brought you here in exchange for that?"

Green eyes peaked a little from the blanket. "B-but...you said you're g-gay...and...there's really nothing I could give in exchange for this...expensive place..."

Usami started walking towards the bed with a sudden pissed expression. "Is that why you're all shaking up a like a leaf there thinking I'd just start jumping all over you? Are you stupid? You aren't even my type. I'm gay alright but my standards are pretty high you snotty brat."

"..."

Usami sat on the bed still looking stern. "Do you know what you just said? You just totally placed me on the same level as those lowlifes."

The boy suddenly sat on the bed, throwing off the sheets down the floor. "I-I didn't mean that..."

"Then why?"

"Because...I've seen this happen a lot in the streets...some young women I knew...they went to those who offered a roof over their heads..."

The man gave a sigh, making the look on the boy's face more troubled.

"I'm sorry..." Misaki mumbled. "Please don't throw me out just yet..."

Usami watched Misaki's bowed head for a long while. The boy had such brown hair which reminded him of birds in the park. The kid looked like an injured bird. A bird with a broken wing.

"I know. You went through a lot and I must say I am not the most saintly person either..." Usami said, patting the young man on the head. "Let's do it this way. Since you're so bothered by not being able to give something in return, let's keep a tab. Pay me when you can."

"Ah..." Misaki's eyes widened. It was obvious in that instant he liked that idea. Like a benefactor. Like a guardian. "I...see...we can...do that..."

"But sorry, I hate counting trivial things up so you better learn to read and write fast."

"Eh?"

"I am going to teach you basics. As soon as you can, we'll enroll you to a special course."

Usami slightly leaned closer, trying to see what has happened to the boy he was talking to. Misaki just all suddenly became quiet, only staring at Usami.

"Oi?"

"Someone kind..." Misaki started. "Someone kind...finally took me in..."

"Don't get too dramatic there, hurry up, go down and eat."

Misaki smiled despite of his snotty appearance. "I will do my best...I promise..."

Usami stood from the bed, glanced back and unexpectedly gave the brunette his rarest real smiles. "I look forward to the day when you can already fly."

* * *

A woman with red hair and a couple of folders came in without so much as an announcement. It seemed like this was the most normal thing for her to do. And she was intending on screaming her way from the genkan all the way to the author's room to wake the author who must still be sleeping.

"Mou...Usami-sensei...that guy...I told him there's a meeting tonight at Teito...he wouldn't reply, it's been three days is he still alive!"

She started taking off her scarf and coat on the way to the spacious living room. What she saw in the middle made her rub her eyes. That would never happen. Of all places in the world, there was no way that could happen.

"You remember there is Hiragana and Katakana right?" Usami asked.

Aikawa blinked.

The award winning author was seated on the carpeted floor? He was on the floor in that way, pointing a pencil on flashcards little kids only used. What was more, he was sounding so patient. The world probably was about to end.

"Write down all the characters you can remember, then we'll study those you have forgotten."

"H-hai..." said the somewhat excited and eager voice.

The woman's wide eyes stared at the silverhair down to the brown-head beside the man. She couldn't hold it in any further.

"USAMI-SENSEIIIIIIII?!"

Both males on the floor looked behind them.

"The fuck are you screaming about?"

"W-what's this? Have you finally turned into a rabid beast? You started laying a hand on teenagers too?" Aikawa shrieked. "What happened to the classy, eye-glasses wearing men you said are your type?!"

"Huh?" Usami glared.

"B-but...that kid..."

"Pipe down will you?"

* * *

Aikawa was seated on one of the dining table's chairs. Usami was across her. The guest was still in the living room, left to watch some dvd about Japanese characters. Aikawa continued looking at the young brunette the entire time Usami was telling her the young man's situation.

"That's harsh," the woman whispered. She only saw things like that with light novels. To think there was one who suffered that much at that young age. "Harsh..."

Usami crossed his arms.

"Anyway sensei, this is quite unusual for you too. You totally allowed someone to live here? When I, your editor must be thrown out even if I am already dead tired?"

"Shut-up."

The woman gave a sigh. "How long will this continue sensei?"

"No particular date," Usami replied, focusing his eyes to the kid in the living room. "Aikawa, help me find a lawyer about Misaki's case."

"Eh?" the woman shot a surprised look at the man. "Don't you have a degree?"

"It isn't my specialty. It's better for someone specialized in the area to look into the matter. That kid, he's here in Japan but he cannot call himself a Japanese. If he isn't a Japanese, what is he? He's deprived of the normal human citizen privileges ever since he's born. That's the best thing we can do for him."

Aikawa searched her editor's eyes. They were the same somewhat cold, somewhat bored look in them. But she could feel a little warmness in those eyes too. She couldn't help but be glad that finally, even a little, her author was showing signs of being a human being.

"Sure."

The next week that Aikawa came into Usami Akihiko's flat, she was met by an empty house. Only a note was left on the table.

She picked it up and read it silently. Her lips started twitching into a wide smile. She was smiling yet teary.

"I feel like crying..." she mumbled softly. "It's good...that Misaki-chan came..."

Aikawa gathered the folder beside the note and headed out of the flat.

_"Aikawa, I've finished the manuscript. Just help yourself with it. I'm out with Misaki. It's getting colder and he's got no proper clothes for Autumn and the coming winter. -Usami"_

"He's always giving me a hard time with the manuscript but he finished it on the dot this time...so he could help the kid shop?" she smiled. "You who hate public places sensei?"

The woman hopped in her car and hummed to herself. She would never say anything. She would never pry into it. She would not encourage. She would not say no either. She'd seen it all. The times when that stone-cold man would just stare out the window all day long. He was such a hard man, childish and unreasonable. But unlike those who find him annoying, she felt pity. Usami Akihiko was always alone, suspicious of every body. If the man could find someone to totally trust and dote to, whether with only just being friends or to something more, Aikawa would be very happy.

The stagnant air that was always present in that large flat, she could feel was being stirred slowly, gently, and she was kind of a bit excited at where it would end.

* * *

Red. Brown. Gold. They make such a good view. A post-card perfect scenery, always just a few walks away. How on Earth did he ever spent Autum after all these years, Usami thought. If not for the restless kid with so much energy to walk around, he wouldn't even set foot out.

"Usami-san!" the young man called. "Look, it's like a red carpet!"

Usami's tucked in hand in his coat moved to reach out to the boy's head. He took something off the brown strands and showed it to the boy. A leaf.

"You've had this for a long time already. Lame."

The green eyes narrowed and Misaki's cheeks puffed, grinning cheekily. To the older man's surprised, Misaki stood on tiptoes and reached out to the man's hair as well. When Misaki moved back, he waived a red leaf back at Usami's face.

"We're even now."

Usami sighed. To think he'd only been playing outside, a first after so many many years at this age? Even so, when he was watching Misaki hop around like that, among the other people sight seeing, he could not help but feel happy himself. These things were new to himself too.

"Usami-san, thank you."

The taller man looked down. Both were now walking at same speed, their footsteps sending out a bit of crunching sounds from the leaves under their shoes.

"For what? The clothes the other day?"

"Hmm...for this view."

Usami looked ahead. Rows of trees. Burning red, a classical and warming Autumn that one would just want to etch into their hearts.

"Huh? Those trees would become like that without me."

"Before I started living with Usami-san, I was never able to appreciate this. So..."

"..."

"Also this!" the boy took a piece of paper out of his pocket and extended it to Usami. "Look at it when I am not looking. I don't want to hear your sarcastic comment!"

"Huh?"

They went home, ate together and talked a bit about Misaki's special Japanese language course at Usami's request from a friend. They watched a bit of TV and Usami then sent the younger one to sleep. They looked like every bit of a family now. Close friends too. However, there were things that Usami still didn't want to let Misaki know. He's a man after all. He's got other needs. And most times, he meet people in a special place and gets that need from them.

* * *

Alluring scents. Hypnotizing dim lightings. A sexy instrumental for a background. Classy yet wild. Excellent ambiance indeed. A glass of cold bourboun before him. Usami by now usually had already someone clinging by his arms. But tonight, he was alone. He only sat at the high stool, staring at a piece of paper.

"Ne, Usami-san...did something good happen?"

Usami Akihiko glanced up at the owner of the bar who was busy mixing in drinks. In the dark, Usami raised the paper in front of the handsome yet rough faced-owner.

"Is that from that little guy you took in?" the owner asked softly. "What unique style...I must say."

The silverhaired man slightly laughed. "No need to sound polite Rihito, you and I both know it's one hell of an ugly writing," Usami sighed. "...So that's why he didn't want me to look at it while he was still around?"

Smiling, the owner placed a new drink before Usami. An experiment. "You seem very satisfied with that 'ugly writing' though..."

It was the paper that Misaki gave him that afternoon. A writing exercise from Misaki's writing course earlier. It appeared that Misaki was already being introduced slowly to the more complicated kanjis. Of all the things to write, that airhead for some reason used Usami's name and wrote it all over the paper. It was crooked. It had many unrefined strokes. It was written like how a 1st grade would. But just by that Usami could already imagine how hard Misaki tried in writing the Kanji's of his name.

"Rihito...this must be how it feels like for a parent when their brats first started talking."

* * *

The whole flat was quiet. Only the lamps at the corners were left turned on, illuminating the tranquil place.

A pair of bare feet could be seen walking around from under the space of the low table. The sounds drowned by the soft carpet.

"Usami-san?" Misaki called. He looked up the wall-clock. It said 2 in the morning. "Did he go out...again?"

The boy moved about the place, careful and vigilant. Once he reached his destination, he stood before a huge cabinet. It was painted in a sparkly gray color contrasting the dim whiteness of the room.

"..."

A sound of breathing that was starting to quicken became more and more audible. He had his hands clasped behind his back. Those hands slowly made their way from the boy's back to his side. From his side to the front. From the front towards the intricately designed handle of the cabinet.

"..."

He stood on tiptoes and opened it.

* * *

The owner stared at Usami. "What...are you talking about? Are you sure you're Usami? Or are you already drunk? You didn't drink that much though..."

Usami shook his head with a small smile. "No. It's just that...I have received so much gifts from so many people...but this one..."

"..."

"It's just a piece of paper..."

"..."

"My name looks so ugly the way he wrote it...but I feel_...unexpectedly proud and happy."_

* * *

Misaki had ran back to his room with what he had taken out from that cabinet. He carefully hid it under his bed. Right after that he released a sigh. That was the time he felt like he could sleep already. The shaking he was feeling before finally subsided. Relief washed over him. He could sleep. Yes, he could finally sleep.

But he shot his eyes wide open.

"..."

For a long while he stared first at the ceiling.

"I did it again...why can't stop...it's going to happen again..."

This was the reason why the families who took him in before returned him back to the shelter. He couldn't resist stealing.

Because of that, he was viewed as nothing but an ingrate.

Hated.

Unwanted.


	2. Chapter 2-Exposed

**Exposed**

* * *

He could hear it in his mind. The way they were looking at him silently like that was unbearable. He would have preferred if they shouted or had hit him even. But all those people did was look at him with pity. It was very clear.

They had given up on him.

_"Why did you do that?" _the woman who acted as his mother for a meager four days asked. _"We were starting to become happy...to become a family..."_

_"..."_

_"It would be good for you to go back...my husband and I decided to...adopt a baby instead."_

Misaki wanted to say sorry. But how could he when he knew what he was doing was wrong? It just so happened that he was weak. He couldn't resist. Fighting it was futile. Fighting it was painful.

_"Listen up kid...continue this and no one, not one, would want to be with you!"_

He wondered when it started. Misaki couldn't seem to remember. He wasn't like this when his mom was still around. But after she died and he started living in the shelter, he started changing. His hands just wouldn't stay still. It was hard to breath when he couldn't take what he wanted. It was so wrong. His mom never raised him like this. But he ended up being the way he was.

_"During the first days of your stay at a foster home...trust is still being developed," _one kind man told him one man looked old. He had a kind smile. The kind that made people at ease. It made Misaki really like him. _"You see, a person's trust is like a delicate glass. When you break it, you just can't put it back together. So...even if you take cheap things, even if it's the most unimportant thing for example...stealing from a person who's trying to reach out to you is a huge betrayal."_

_"Uncle...why am I like this? Why have I become a bad child?"_

That kind man smiled patiently while holding Misaki's little hand. _"You're just scared Misaki-chan. You're just scared...you're not bad."_

_"It's sad when they return me here all over again...the others are calling me thief..."_

_"For sure Misaki-chan...someone would understand...someone..."_

"Ueda-san? Ueda-san?"

An old man who had his cup of tea frozen just a few inches from his lips snapped out of his flashbacks. Once in a while he'd see things he'd experienced from years ago. Things that really touched and worried him. Things he wanted to catch up with but wasn't able to.

"Are you okay?" a woman in a simple black dress asked. She was pretty. But her serious look was probably not that popular with men. "You're scaring me that way Ueda-san, don't look like you just got a stroke."

Old man as he was, his eyes still glowed vibrantly. Many people thought he's the very example of a 'young at heart' person. Or probably because he always surrounded himself with children and young people when he was being active in a charity event, he started having the same air.

"Usami Akihiko-san's editor called just a while ago," the woman started as she handed a folder to the man. "She said the draft for the few changes in the story had been completed. The director also called to let you know that they can start filming on the first week of December."

Ueda Takanori, the old man, sighed. If he could, he wouldn't want to be involved in this kind of flashy things anymore. But as the CEO of a television network partnering with this movie project in which his opinions were being sought out, he just really couldn't stay away.

With his wrinkled hands, he reached out to the folder and started flipping it mindlessly. _"_I wonder what happened to that kid..."

"I'm sorry?"

"Ah!" Ueda-san waived a hand. "You see, I remembered this cute little boy who clung to me and called me 'uncle', 'uncle' before. I was thinking if he was able to find a home by now."

"If he's this cute to make you smile like the grandfather you are...perhaps he was able to. You've got a good eye on a person's personality after all Ueda-san."

The vibrant turquoise hues of the old man's eyes looked troubled suddenly. He then looked at his young secretary.

"Would you adopt a kid who continuously steals?"

"Huh?" the woman looked surprised. "Uhm, well...probably not. 'Coz...isn't it like...biting the hand that feeds you?"

The old man smiled understandably. "Right. That's normal...it's hard to convince people that what that kid's going through is an emotional turmoil. It's kleptomania...but people only see it as theft."

"..."

"If you saw him holding on to his loot while crying...you'd probably cry too Hanami."

The woman secretary decided to sit. She removed her eyeglasses, dropped her secretary job and guiltily smiled.

"Grandpa...don't go starting to cry there all of a sudden."

"I regret not being able to be in contact with that child. I even promised to help him."

Ueda Hanami sighed and glanced at the window where only a gloomy sky was present.

"Grandpa...Kleptomaniacs have some sort of attachments right? Like some...they wanted glittery objects. Some wanted sweet smelling things...I even heard that the harder it is to get, the more urge they experience. So what did that child...that Misaki-chan liked taking?"

The old man looked down, trying to remember.

"Must be the expensive ones for all his foster families to return him..." Hanami wondered.

Standing, Ueda-san clasped his hands behind his back and started pacing the room.

"Actually...I tried convincing a few people about it...but they all had closed eyes when it comes to stealing so it seemed..."

"...?"

"Misaki-chan...that kid...he feels at ease the most when he..."

* * *

Usami Akihiko creased his brows. He'd been quite busy the few days so he never really noticed. But today, while Misaki's out for his special classes and he finally had free time, he noticed something odd.

The man was standing before this huge cabinet. A sophisticated gray that he liked which was standing out from the stark black others. In that white room, he liked the combination of the gray and black. It was where he keeps his collections. Once in a while he'd open it to just look at them. Today though, he wasn't looking at them with appreciation. He was looking at it like it was an ugly puzzle with missing pieces.

"..."

He wasn't going senile not to notice that the arrangement was different and there were so many that were missing. When he pondered more about it, he realized that many things were not in place and most of them were carelessly in different positions. Not just in here, but some place all over his flat.

"Huh? Again?" Usami reached out to one of his collections. He didn't look like it but he collected them and treated them carefully. _"Two of them...they're not here..."_

The man wasn't into the details of things. But he knew there was something strange going on. He ignored it, didn't care much of it at all the first instances it happened. But it'd been long. And the strange things going on were becoming apparent that it was hard to overlook.

Entirely quiet, Usami walked out of that room and headed to the living area. The low table was filled with his awkward young house mate's study materials. Flashcards of Kanji's. Coloring books. Crayons. Pencils. A bunch of crampled papers. Test papers with shamefully low scores. It was as if he was living with an elementary kid.

He bent to pick one of Misaki's awkward drawings. A toothpick figure with a half-assed silver hair color. And another toothpick form with messy brown hair. The two shapes were walking on what seemed like an Autumn path. Again half-assed drawings of fallen golden and brown leaves.

Usami smiled. But it faded like it never happened when he remembered the missing things in his house.

"..."

The man sighed, his eyes troubled. He should really ask the boy about it. After all, there was no one to ask but only Misaki.

"..."

Usami just wasn't sure what he would do. His missing collections. The other odd things missing. He didn't know if he would be that forgiving if after all the things he'd done to the boy, he'd be repayed in a way he despised.

He was not an idiot. Two of them living in that huge space. Hardly anyone ever goes there. Truly, the cat was out.

* * *

Even though it was chilly, Usami let the windows open. He was standing on the side, looking down at the afternoon Autumn down the metropolis. It's been a while. Indeed it'd been a while since he last smoked. Having a younger one living with him made him somehow a bit vigilant for the sake of others.

He knew he was being stressed to suddenly start smoking at this hour. He was definitely stressed about how Misaki had obviously started stealing his possessions.

"..."

Silently listening to the very barely audible sound of his cigarette burning, the man started hearing hurried movements from the main door. The sound of rushed tossing of the shoes to the side. The sound of breathing one would get from running fast.

_"Usami-san! Usami-san!" _the voice called which sounded a bit muffled from that distance.

Usami turned towards the voice, looking out to the empty open door leading to the living room where he was.

_"Usami-san!"_ the boy called again. He sounded so excited. He sounded really thrilled.

The man could already imagine how the brunette was moving. His footsteps were loud. He sounded like he almost tripped barely getting back on his feet. Then, in an instant, there was a green-eyed boy, sweaty, huffing, staring at Usami.

"Usami-san! There you are!"

The older man picked the ashtray near him and stubbed his cigarette.

"What's the rush?"

Misaki walked over towards Usami, he seemed to be gliding from excitement. With flushed cheeks, Misaki raised a couple of papers in front of Usami. The man took it with an odd smile.

"What's this, this time?"

The boy stood on tiptoes. "These are things that I can now read Usami-san, the teacher said I am progressing really fast! I've been memorizing Kanji's even in my sleep!"

Usami chuckled. "Memorizing in your sleep? How do you do that?"

"I do! In the bath, in the streets, everywhere!"

"Ooh...that's so hardworking of you...may I test you?"

Misaki looked suddenly embarassed. But he nodded anyway.

"Hmm...'kay..."

The man flipped through the few papers in hand and pulled one. He read it silently and then showed it to Misaki.

**「考えすぎて時間を無駄にしてしまうのはもったいない****。**

**その分****、****早〈行動を起こすべき****。****やって良かったと、きっと思えるはず****.****」**

Usami glanced again at the paper. "These are almost elementary third and fourth grade..."

"I can...I've been memorizing nonstop..."

Patiently, Usami waited. He waited and watched Misaki try to remember some of the Kanji's written. He's got no problem with the Katakana and Hiragana these days. The challenge was getting used to the almost three thousand Kanji's out there that were being frequently used.

"Kangae sugite jikan wo muda ni shite shimau no ha mottainai," the kid narrowed his eyes. "Sono bun...Hayaku...hayaku koudou? Koudou wo okosubeki. Yatte yokattato, kitto omoeru hazu."

Misaki looked up at Usami with proud eyes. "I...I did it without mistake right?"

Usami looked back at the paper, looked at Misaki then smiled. "Good job."

"Ehe...maybe I am really a genius?"

The man lightly smacked the side of the brunette's head with an obvious fake frown. "Now don't get ahead of yourself."

"Just kidding!"

Handing the papers back at the younger one, Usami suddenly changed expressions. A serious one at that the even Misaki felt a bit tensed. The two looked eye to eye for a while. The longer, the more awkward it became.

"Misaki, you know I trust you right?"

Misaki's shoulders flinched.

"I trust you...so if you got anything going on you must tell me."

Misaki forced a smile. "Uhm..what's this all of a sudden Usami-san?"

"I decided to let you enter in my house and in my life with that trust in you Misaki. One of the strongest bonds in all relationships be it friendship, family or lover or a partner is trust."

"..."

"Do you trust me?"

Misaki was silent. The boy was lost. But Usami waited for the answer. He decided to shut the windows closed. The moment Usami did, the silence just intensified. The more Misaki felt like he was cornered.

"Of course I trust you..." Misaki answered softly.

"I trust you too. And I hope you tell me things that needed being said because Misaki...I am not lenient when it comes to that."

"..."

"Do you wish to tell me anything? Something important?"

"..."

"Misaki?"

"N-none..."

"None?"

"None..."

Usami Akihiko sighed. He was giving Misaki a chance to explain himself. He was giving Misaki the opportunity to open it up on his own. He was giving Misaki this huge grace of solving this obvious case in a peaceful manner.

But Misaki had wasted it.

"Usami-san..." Misaki almost whispered as he looked down on his feet. His hands holding the papers were terribly shaking. "D-did you come into my room?"

The silverhaired man started walking away. "I didn't. I just wanted you to confess on your own."

In the middle of the living room, Usami stopped. He slowly turned to look back at the sudden pale face of the brunette.

"It's only the two of us here Misaki. Do you think it's not going to be noticed?"

The papers Misaki had been holding slipped off from his grasp. They made a sightly fall before it spread out everywhere on the floor. Usami glanced at the one that came to him closest. The one that he made Misaki read a little while ago.

"You read it yourself. _'Think of the time you're wasting by thinking too much. Just do it. You'd be glad that you did'," _Usami's eyes as he glanced back at the brunette were very distant. It was as if he was looking at a stranger now. "Is this the reason most of your foster families returned you back to the shelter? It was a question of mine you never answered."

"..."

The man sighed and looked regretful. "Misaki, we're not relatives. I am not your father or brother and most of all you're not my partner either. This set-up we have for almost four months is being binded by trust alone. What else is there if that's nowhere now?"

Misaki was becoming paler and paler and paler. He might have wanted to say a thousand things. Things he wanted to say too from the first time he'd been kicked back to the shelter by his very first foster family. But like the him when he was little, he could only remain silent. That last statement of Usami was the final blow.

And so, after such a long time, Misaki let out silent tears. He wept silently with his head bowed.

"I'm sorry..."

"Can I ask you something?"

"..."

"Those part of my collection, where are they?"

"C-collection?" Misaki asked at a loss.

"The ones in the gray cabinet."

Misaki looked away. His eyes brimming with guilt that exposed him even more.

"Did you...sell them?"

"N-no..."

"If not..." Usami continued asking in such a calm voice. In such an adult-like way. In such a way like how everyone had reacted when they learned that Misaki had stolen from them. "Where are they?"

Misaki gritted his teeth. "I'm...I'm sorry..."

Usami shook his head in sudden fatigue. Not in a million years had it ever crossed his mind that everything they'd built will crumble in an instant. But he just didn't want his actions rushed. He didn't even like this atmosphere between them. But what's done been done. The injury was bleeding red and was creating a river that was getting wider and wider separating them apart.

"Let me think things through...because Misaki seriously...I don't want to be the one to throw you out when it was I who let you in."

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

hi everyone. so i said it's 2 parts. but when i was writing it, i realized two parts can't sum it all up. it's four chapters.

-shuusetsu


	3. Chapter 3- No Voice

**No Voice**

* * *

"So then, Misaki-chan...you'll help me right?" Aikawa asked. But the only answer the woman got was a vacant stare from the other. "Misaki-chan?"

Finally, after waiving a couple of times in front of the boy's face, Misaki showed signs of being alive again. He blinked away his uneasiness and smiled at the woman. However, Aikawa was sharp not to notice that it was just an ugly, forced and painful one.

She slowly inched nearer to the boy seated beside her on the sofa and lowered her face to Misaki's ear.

"Ne...did something happen? Both you and Usami-sensei are acting strange."

The boy inched farther, creating a distance before looking back at his meaningless doodles that he'd been doing instead of his homework. Lately, his head was just somewhere far off.

"There's something right?" Aikawa pressed. "After all, Usami-sensei would never agree to this in the first place. Sure I asked him if we could hold a simple dinner for the big shots in celebration of the start of the filming next week...still...I mean I just tested my luck. But when he agreed...I sensed something off."

Misaki just awkwardly smiled as he took a pencil from the low table, trying to write something but ended up in another meaningless doodle. Aikawa couldn't help but watch Misaki's way of holding his pencil. He was gripping it so hard his doodles were getting crooked. The strange thing was Misaki seem not to notice at all.

"T-this is his house..." Misaki replied softly. "He can do anything...invite anyone...kick out anyone..."

"Huh? Kick out?" the woman frowned. "What-"

"I am just saying...he's free to do anything right?"

Aikawa sighed, grabbing a throw pillow and crushing it with her hug. "He agreed to hold that dinner here in this flat when he wouldn't even allow a single mosquito in! I thought I was being delirious when he agreed!"

The brunette reached out next to his book and pretended to flip through it.

"All I have to do is assist in filling up the table if the food's gone right?"

The woman looked worried. That obvious run-away from the subject made it clear. Something was up. And by the looks of it, neither Usami Akihiko nor Takahashi Misaki was planning on spilling it. So she decided to finally give the boy space.

"Yup. Just help me make sure the table's full. It's just a simple buffet dinner don't worry. It's a laid back one."

"Okay."

Misaki was still vacantly staring at the lines of characters he's yet familiar with, but it was obvious he wasn't looking at it all. Aikawa threw her gaze then at the famous author who just walked down the stairs. He only nodded at her and went smoking by the open windows.

It was the first day of December. Chilly and somehow gloomy. It was as if there were walls between the just a while ago inseparable duo. Aikawa could see invisible walls. Felt them to be so high and thick. She could feel it and it was suffocating.

* * *

A very displeased gaze was what Usami Akihiko threw at the small list of guests coming over the day after the next. They were people he hardly knew. And there were people he knew and didn't want to meet with at all.

The ticking clock on his study table said three in the morning. It meant he'd been seated there for the whole six hours without having done anything. He wasn't alone in his own house. But both of them hadn't talked to each other since that day. That was six days ago.

When he and Misaki just somehow ended up not talking, everything seemed bland. It was strange. Usami had never felt his house to be this quiet and cold when he was still living alone.

"The disappearances of some of the things in here stopped though..." Usami mumbled, tilting his head backwards, glaring at the dark ceiling. "I guess it's natural that he'd stop after being exposed..."

The glint in his eyes deepened. He was angry. That was why he was that calm. He was so angry that he couldn't summon the right face or the right voice. But anger aside, he was worried still. Because that boy who finally started gaining some flesh in his skin and bones form was losing weight again so fast. The bags under that kids eyes were getting uglier and larger as well. He looked no better than when Usami saw him first.

"Shit..." he stood and walked over where his bed was. And then he just threw his self on it. _"We...started off great Misaki...why'd you have to do that?"_

* * *

Misaki could practically remember that this night should be a 'laid-back' buffet dinner. But everywhere he looked, he couldn't apply the word 'laid-back' at all. The living room where he used to have his study sessions with a certain man had been changed into a big spacious hall. Long tables were stationed at the side where Misaki was standing in the look out of an emptying course. He would also hand over glasses of water or wine once in a while.

The guests were also spectacular. Misaki knew no one of them at all. But he could tell they were among the most important people in their own respects. The brunette was feeling like a fish out of the water, a wild flower in a bouquet of precious lilies.

Green eyes wandered from one person to another until his gaze landed on a stranger. It was the first time he had seen Usami Akihiko in that suit that was tailored in perfection to fit his body that fluidly. That smile, that manner of speaking and his actions, there were all new to Misaki. So he stared. He stared and felt something painful deep within him.

Somewhere, somehow, he just wanted to dig a hole and hide. It was too shameful of him and thick-skinned to still be staying here after that. But he didn't know what to do.

_"I'm so ashamed...why am I like this...I knew what's wrong but kept doing it..." _Misaki held his tears back. "_You're so stupid. You never change...you never learn..."_

Misaki gulped. He couldn't hold the tears. Hurriedly he turned around and walked away to vanish from anyone's sight.

But one man saw him.

"Grandpa...what are you staring at?"

An old man in a summery coat looked back at her secretary and granddaughter with a perplexed expression. He was in the mood for a summer feel so he wore that ridiculously printed coat and flaunted it. He enjoyed showing it off and telling his experiences with the different people he met with his charitable works. But as soon as he saw the silent brunette on the corner, he became silent himself.

"The kid over there who just left..." Ueda-san whispered, feeling his chest tightening. He could feel the connection. He could feel it in him. He couldn't possibly be mistaken with this after all the years of thinking about the kid. "The brown-head kid that was over there earlier..."

Ueda Hanami who was as usual in black and with her serious aura looked towards the old man's line of vision and saw no one, though she understood perfectly whom her grandfather was pertaining to.

"Misaki-kun...what about him?"

"Misaki? You said Misaki?" the old man repeated getting excited.

The woman glared at a man who just winked at her and then nodded back to the old man before her. "Yes. I think his name's Misaki. I heard from Usami-sensei's editor that he's a kid who the author took in after he almost fell in the hands of human traffickers..."

"Oh..." the old man remembered a certain call then from Usami some four months ago about a Tatsuhi Institution that turned out to be a bogus. "So that's what's it about..."

"Why what's wrong?"

Rubbing his chin, Ueda-san smiled. "Well...remember I told you about that child I met at a shelter before who got transferred from foster home to foster home?"

Hanami took a piece of odd looking meatballs and popped it her mouth. Sometimes her brutish unsophisticated side would just leak out of her.

"Ah...the kid with kleptomania?"

"Shss...it's going to draw a bad impression for the kid."

"Well...isn't it a surprise? Usami-sensei took in a stranger? Perhaps he knew about the boy's condition?"

That's when Ueda-san's smile faded. "I hope so...otherwise...knowing Usami...he might just send the kid off somewhere."

* * *

The small number of guests continued having their chats with their own little groups. Usami and Aikawa were busy entertaining these guests and the dinner showed no sign of ending at all even though it was already eleven in the evening.

As usual, Ueda-san was there not as a CEO of a television company but as a charity advocate. And as usual, the real center of attention if not Usami, was Hanagida Shuue. In her glittering simple black dress that was exposing just the right amount of skin, her figure was standing out from the rest of the women guests. Her grace, her face, her body, she seemed to have been a dream that walked out of the men's heads.

"Excuse me for a while," the best actress said in a sweet manner. "I'll be going to the washroom..."

As she walked away, many eyes followed her. From her silky hair down to around her waist. Many did admire her for her killer looks. But she was also a great actress, a talent that couldn't be denied.

She laughed a little. "Oh my...where again is the washroom?"

The woman continued walking her way deep into the flat away from the rest of the people. It didn't take long when she noticed what seemed like the kitchen and a young man, dressed simply in red longsleeves and black trousers, standing idly on the side in deep thought.

"Hello...?"

Misaki just looked at his hands like he was seeing something disgusting on them.

"Uhm...hello?"

When Misaki looked up, he almost staggered backwards from surprise. The woman was so beautiful that even him who was never into looks of a person had been mesmerized.

"Uh...yes? How may I help you?"

Hanagida Shuue raised a dainty hand with a pretty jade ring in one of her fingers that brought out the fairness of her skin even more.

"My hand got sticky with the sweets back there...I am looking for the washroom but there's a sink already behind you...can I?"

"Uh...if it's just washing hands you can do so..." Misaki struggled for words as he gave way for the woman.

"Ah...that's great!"

The young man watched the woman and wondered how can washing hands be such a pretty sight.

Misaki drew a deep breath while looking at the pretty hands. The woman noticed this too and she smiled gently.

"This?" she raised her left hand a little. "It's a gift from my Grandpa..."

The boy smiled widely. "It's pretty."

"It's my treasure...by the way...you are?"

"T-Takahashi Misaki," the brunette replied, flustered from talking to such a pretty person.

"Eh...nice to meet you. I'm Hanagida Shuue..." the woman mumbled as she looked closely at the lad's face. "You've got pretty eyes...almost the same color as my ring. How nice..."

"N-no way...that's some precious thing..." Misaki stammered. To be compared to a treasure was his first time.

The woman laughed. "Aren't you cute, getting flustered over such a compliment..."

Misaki smiled, his cheeks burning from embarrassment. He continued watching the woman though. How Hanagida Shuue looked happy as she was staring at her ring before carefully putting it at the side of the sink. It seemed like the stickiness of a sweet earlier got in her ring finger and had to remove the precious gem.

Green eyes looked at the silent jade ring contrasting the dark marble of the kitchen top. It looked pretty he couldn't take his eyes off it. That's when he remembered something.

"Ah...there's no clean towel for you to wipe your hands...I'll go get one for you."

Perfect almond eyes smiled in appreciation. "Thank you very much."

Misaki almost ran his way to where they keep towels and blankets near the laundry area. He was happy to be of help to the people that's close to Usami. At least in this way, he could feel a little ease. A sort of redemption even if it was just an illusion.

"She's so pretty...I heard from the guests though that she...even if she knew Usami-san's not interested with women..." Misaki's haste for some reason lessened. _"...she still..."_

The boy came back to the kitchen. Most of the food had been taken cared of the catering that Aikawa contracted so they never really used the place. Strangely, when Misaki came back, Hanagida Shuue was not there anymore.

"Eh...she left already...?" the boy looked at the pink towel in his hands. "Where could she have dried her hands? I can't imagine her wiping it off against her pretty dress though..."

* * *

A few moments later, when Misaki was sure he had calmed himself, he again stepped out to the area of the dinner. He promised Aikawa to be of help anyway so he couldn't just hole himself up in the kitchen.

However, as soon as he arrived in the living area, the festive ambiance that the guests earlier had was no where. A tense air was floating all over the place.

Misaki looked around. The guests were looking on the floor for some reason. Some were even lifting up the coverings of the long table so they could check under.

The kid observed what was going on. It didn't take long for him to see Usami Akihiko and Aikawa standing together. And in the middle, a pretty lady sitting on one of the armchairs was teary-eyed for some reason.

"Don't worry...it must have just fallen off the floor, Hanagida-san..." Aikawa comforted.

Hanagida Shuue's tears made her a perfect maiden in distress. "Where could it have gone? That's the only memento I have from my late great grandfather..."

Ueda-san who was too old to join the commotion just watched at the sidelines with his dessert. After looking over the people at the center, his old eyes darted to the brunette who disappeared a few minutes ago. He was about to call out to the young man to talk, to say hi, to ask how he'd been doing. But Misaki moved and went beside Aikawa.

"What's wrong?" Misaki asked softly, his eyes avoiding the intense gaze he could feel being thrown at him by someone. "Why's the guest crying Aikawa-san?"

Aikawa drew in a deep breath and started rubbing the back of the woman. "Misaki-chan...apparently she lost a jade ring that's very precious to her..."

Misaki looked to the pretty hands the woman was using to cover her face. He could see right away that the pretty ring he saw before was nowhere.

Slowly, Hanagida Shuue removed her hands from her face and looked up. Her eyes brightened in an instant like someone had just solved a riddle for her.

"Oh...it's you!" the actress exclaimed. "Uhm...when I was washing my hands earlier...I placed the ring beside the sink and I must have forgotten it. When I came back it wasn't there...did you by any chance see it?"

Misaki furrowed his brows, trying to ransack his memory.

"Eh...I'm sorry Ma'am...I didn't see any."

The woman stood and looked more in panic than before. She had grabbed Misaki's right hand, gripping it tightly.

"It was just you and me in the kitchen earlier...are you sure you didn't see it? Did you see someone else?"

Misaki flinched at the question. When the boy slowly looked around, everyone was already looking at him with mixed faces. Suddenly, for no solid reason, Misaki was in panic too.

A certain old man who was observing the entire event frowned as he let his parfait down.

"What's she doing? She just accused the kid right in the face in the most polite way there is," Ueda-san said with eyes unbelieving. "She had just emphasized they were alone. If Misaki says he saw no one, he was already implying that he could be..."

Hanami looked with a bored face at the commotion. She wasn't into the party much to the attention grabber Hanagida in the first place.

"Her again? Isn't she a bit of a drama queen without the cameras reeling?" she commented with a huff. "Her perfume's too strong my head hurts."

"Perfume?"

"Oh you didn't notice Granpa? She was standing right behind you earlier how come you didn't smell her?"

"Behind me?"

"You know, when we were talking about the kid with klepto-"

Perhaps because of the same blood running in their veins, their brains worked in the same wavelength. Suddenly, the two stared at one another. It was of no secret that Hanagida Shuue had the hots for the famous author despite the author's preferences. A boy from nowhere living with the man was a threat in every sense. That was when the two then looked at the kid who became the center of attention this time.

"You really didn't see it?" Hanagida whispered helplessly. "It was beside the sink, it's a jade one...you were looking at it earlier..."

"I..."

"I had to go answer a call and I forgot my ring. When I came back...it's not there anymore..."

"Uhm..."

Grandfather and granddaughter looked again at each other and then towards the silver-haired man in the middle. Both sensing something ugly.

Usami's ice-cold gaze towards the boy was everything but gentle.

* * *

chapter end notes:

thanks a lot for the time reading and the kind words! please share your thoughts.

i'd just put in my profile the update date when i'm already sure. XD

-shuusetsu


	4. Chapter 4-Wall

**Wall**

* * *

"Uh...uhm...uh..."

Hanagida Shuue's pale face was in no comparison to the young brunette's sudden lost of color. The kid's eyes started getting restless as he watched the eyes looking at him. His hands on both his sides wouldn't stay still. He clasped them alternatingly. And after not being able to sleep for so many nights, Misaki wanted to throw up what little rice and piece of meat he had eaten that night.

Aikawa didn't like what the woman just said earlier. But the editor was more concerned of something. If there was someone being frightening, then there was one very close to them. Usami Akihiko. The author's lavender eyes seemed to have taken a hint of red for some reason. His face was very rigid. And he was looking at nowhere but Misaki.

"Usami-san..." Hanagida started softly as if she's even trying to make it a secret. "I...I heard earlier from Ueda-san that he knew this kid before. He said the boy had some Kleptomaniac streaks...you just took in him right? So perhaps..."

Misaki stared in disbelief. He felt himself weakening from the entire thing. He had no voice in this matter. He didn't have one the moment 'kleptomania' had been brought up.

"I am not saying this kid stole my ring..." Hanagida Shuue whispered close to the author's ear. "But...I would really feel relieved if we could perhaps do a check on him? We never know..."

"Chotto!" Aikawa stepped forward. "Misaki's kleptomaniac you say!?"

In Misaki's eyes, the whole area seemed to have been spinning in a random manner. He could see accusing eyes directed at him. Murmuring lips. Leering expressions. It was as if the living area was closing in on him, trying to squeeze out the breath out of him. He had never felt so little.

"Silence please."

The voice that had just called everyone's attention sounded different. It was devoid of any emotion and it's natural cold timber made it even more commanding. It came from Usami Akihiko. He's stance as he faced the guests made everyone swallow their speculations.

"Misaki," Usami called. The man didn't even shout but the sudden silence made it seem like he did. "What do you have to say?"

Green eyes looked up to the only ever man he respected, to the only ever man he idolized, to the only ever man he felt so much at ease, to the only ever man who gave him a real sense of a second chance. Misaki feared this day. He really feared this day. And no matter how much Misaki wanted to defend himself, he couldn't find his voice.

"Uhm...U-Usamm-"

In front of everyone, even though Misaki didn't want to, he didn't want to because it was the same as admitting it. He didn't want to at all. But he cried. The tears just won't stop. He had so many things to say but everything was jumbled up. The frustration, the begging, what he couldn't say, what he wanted to say, they all came out from his eyes.

True, he had been stealing off Usami Akihiko's belongings. But this one, he could swear to all the gods and shrines out there that he hadn't stolen anything. Yet because his history of being a kleptomaniac had been brought up, his innocence had been completely doubted.

"Uhm...Usa-"

Misaki tried his best to talk. But only unintelligible garble of words and sounds escaped from his painful throat.

Usami Akihiko sighed and regarded the guests. He had a patient yet cold look plastered on his face.

"I'm sorry for this happening when we should all just be enjoying ourselves," Usami started. "But as this is my place, I want this to be solved quietly. So I ask the people concerned to come to my study."

The man patted the teary-eyed woman once on the shoulder. "Hanagida-san, Aikawa, and if you may..." Usami turned to the old man at the corner. "Ueda-san please come too. Anyone who saw Misaki and Hanagida-san together earlier please come along."

It'd been the start of one such long night.

* * *

It was unbearably quiet. A quiet like that of a whispering storm just at bay. No one had even noticed the messy state of the study at all. Piles of folders and crumpled papers were scattered on the floor. It wouldn't look like a 'study' but a storage room at first glance. But because the situation was so serious, they could only focus on nothing but the matter at hand.

Aside from the people called, there were two others who came along as they said they saw Takahashi Misaki and Hanagida Shuue alone earlier.

The moment everyone had settled to anywhere suited them, not one still talked. They just looked at the fidgeting boy at the corner of the room who didn't take a seat or walked closer to anyone. He just stood at the corner as if he had accepted already the obvious verdict.

Usami was seated at the edge of his dump of a table. Hanagida Shuue was seated at the couch nearest to Usami as if seeking protection. Ueda-san and his granddaughter were seated on a black couch by the wall. And Aikawa was standing close to the door as if ready to claw her way in the middle if it was needed.

"Misaki, don't cower over there. Come here."

Misaki lifted his gaze from the dark green carpet covering the entire floor towards the man's voice. Truthfully, he didn't want to move closer to anyone anymore. What was this all about? So that everyone can humiliate him even more? So he could be a show to them? Was seeing a klepto like him that fascinating? The fear in the pits of his stomach was eating at him away.

"Misaki," Usami sternly called. "Come here."

Like a lost child, Misaki moved slowly out of his spot towards Usami. He dragged his feet as he kept his gaze down. He was a child the perfect example of without confidence. His shoulders were shaking. His breathing was labored. And the more painful sight was him biting down to his lips hard that it had already lost its color.

Once the kid had been standing two feet away from Usami, the silverhaired man moved to loosen his tie and darted to Hanagida Shuue.

"Hanagida-san, you heard that Misaki's...?"

"Uhm...hai..." the woman replied nodding a little as if she was so sorry that it had become like this. The look in her eyes was so sincere. "From...Ueda-san..."

If not for the old man smiling at Hanami who was ready exploding at her seat, it might have turned into a cat fight. But the old man kept his cool and he stood slowly.

"Hello...Misaki-chan..." Ueda-san called gently. "Don't you remember me?"

Takahashi Misaki who had been boring a hole on the floor hesitantly looked at the old man. There was no recognition in the boy's eyes. He only looked at the old man, from the stranger's pointy nose, to the kind lips, to the wrinkled eyes. For a long time, he stared at the turquoise eyes that the boy liked back then. He had always thought they were the color of marbles when lifted towards the sun.

"U-uncle...?"

Ueda Takanori made his way to the center of the study room and took the boy's cold and sweaty hand. He felt sorry for the boy. It was the only thing he could feel right this instant.

"So it's true...Ueda-san?" Usami cut with no more of any hint of politeness he had earlier. "Klepto...mania?"

Misaki rushed to and grabbed the arm of the old man, shaking his head. It was clear in his big eyes that he was pleading the old man not to say anything. He didn't want Usami of all people to know about this. But to the boy's surprise, like the floor just got a crack separating him from everything else, the old man gently took his arm off of Misaki's grasp and faced the people present.

"I met Misaki at a shelter maybe ten years ago. His foster families always returned him back because of continuous theft. They all complained about it because Misaki-chan looked so tame and well-behaved. However, everyone found him to be a burden and a difficult child...I didn't know he still does this."

"...?"

Hanagida Shuue stood. "Enough Ueda-san...that's too much."

The old man smiled. "Usami-san has to know. Being the kid's guardian after all. That is if he still wants to be the guardian of a child like this?"

Misaki felt so cold. Everything's gotten worse.

"So..." the old man smiled at Misaki patiently. "Misaki-chan...what did you steal this time?"

"...?"

Misaki turned his head towards Usami. He was scared to see what Usami's expression was. He was scared yet he dared look. When he finally saw it, Misaki had the urge to just disappear. Intense angry eyes, Misaki never wanted to see that look from Usami. He just realized he could tolerate it from the others. But not with this man. Not at all.

"Misaki," Usami called as he stood away from where he was seated. He walked right in front of the kid, locking gazes. "Do you have Hanagida-san's ring?"

The boy gasped for air. He might as well really be a fish out of water. Huge tears rolled down his cheeks as he painfully shook his head in denial.

"Tsk," Usami grabbed the boy's arm to everyone's surprise. "We'll be gone in a few. Please wait here."

With mouths gaping open, everyone watched Usami drag the boy out of the study.

* * *

The washing machine was there. Open cabinets of fresh towels and linens and curtains were also stacked neatly in one side. The scent of bleach and fabric conditioner combined into a tingling smell in their noses.

Misaki was standing with his head bowed, his fingers fidgeting, still sniffing. The boy was miserably massaging the spot where Usami had previously been holding so tightly. The older man was before him, facing the wall with such menacing air coming from him.

They just stood there in silence. That uncomfortable and thick silence that made even their own breathing loud and clear lingered in the stagnant air. The more seconds passed, the more the intense expression on Usami's face became.

"Misaki," Usami started. He never faced Misaki at all even after locking the doors to seclude themselves from the rest. "I want you to be honest with me now. Did you take it?"

Misaki wondered where the sudden smile on his lips came from. He couldn't stop himself. He just smiled like someone who just lost his mind but his tears continued spilling from his heart out of his eyes.

When Usami didn't hear any answer, he hastily turned with an annoyed face, only to see the unexplainable face the kid was pulling.

"..."

"Usami-san...I'm really sorry...for causing you so much trouble. You had to take in a disgusting Klepto like me..."

Usami was indeed angry. The man couldn't hide it at all. He tried to suppress it but he couldn't. He had taken up what little space was between them and had grabbed the boy on both shoulders. His long fingers digging into the soft flesh.

"Listen to me..." Usami hissed.

Misaki braced himself. He knew what would come next. It's always been this way. He was so sure about this. Usami Akihiko had also given up on him.

"Listen to me real good alright?" Usami continued, his breath almost grazing at Misaki's cheek. "Whatever the fuck...whether you stole it or not...I would say you didn't if that's what you want."

Misaki stared at the man before him with wide eyes.

"...?"

"I would stand by you and take up your side and lie with you. But I wanted to know from your own mouth what's the truth."

The boy's vision started clouding even more. His lips trembling, Misaki tensed. "Why? Why would you do that? I already stole from you...everyone thinks so too about that ring...why would you-"

"If I abandon you in this...who else do you have!? Do you think I could just stand like that? Do you think I enjoy everyone looking at you that way? Hell I am so pissed you have no idea!"

The boy stared at Usami's eyes. He didn't know for how long. He didn't know what it was but something really great just washed over Misaki and made him unable to breath. And this time, he freely cried. A rush of many emotions he couldn't pin point so his heart just cried it all out. Such an ugly sight as it was heart breaking for anyone who would see.

Usami grabbed the boy's face and wiped the tears off that pale face with his thumb. The man's expression though remained serious. "Tell me...did you take it?"

Misaki reached out to the hand touching his face soothingly. As hard as he was crying, was as hard as he clung to that arm of support.

"I...I didn't."

The lavender eyes softened a bit. Then he straightened up.

"That's enough."

* * *

When Usami Akihiko came back to his study, to everyone's surprise, he was alone. Takahashi Misaki wasn't with him.

Aikawa hurriedly stood from her seat and dashed to her author. "Usami-sensei? Where's Misaki? Don't tell me...you..."

Usami remained silent as he walked to where his cluttered table was. He never said a thing for a long while as he was thinking deeply. Hanagida Shuue then stood and reached out to Usami's arm. Soothingly she ran her fingers on the man's arm. It made Usami look up to the woman.

"I'm sorry this turned out like this...Usami-san..." Hanagida whispered. "You didn't have to kick him out..."

The lavender eyes just narrowed briefly before addressing everyone in the room.

"The boy's taken up more than he can handle for tonight and he's resting..."

The best actress was taken aback. "R-resting?"

Usami smiled. A charming, almost melting one. No one actually could discern whether he did it on purpose. "Yes. He's resting in _my _room."

"..."

A buzzing silence came after that.

That must have been a shock to everyone. Given that Usami was straight when it comes to his sexuality, to announce in this crowd that he'd let a non-relative, eighteen year-old barely a young man in his room was like implying something serious. More so that Usami said it while looking at Hanagida Shuue.

It was the best and the most subtle way to say 'I am never going to be interested with you'.

"B-but..." Hanagida started losing her pretty practiced composure. "What about my ring?!"

The owner of the flat crossed his arms. "Misaki didn't take it."

"Huh...?"

Aikawa tried to suppress her smile but failed. The old man Ueda-san nodded in relief.

"If Misaki says he didn't take it. He didn't," Usami said sternly. He's had enough of the woman's obvious acting that he didn't care if he was acting rudely to this big time actress. "If it's the ring, I could pay for it. If it's found somewhere in the corners of my house then I'll send it back to you."

"..."

"Do you have any idea...what you're talking about?" Hanagida groped for words. "I am the lead actress for that movie..."

Usami smiled. A smile that was frightening as his eyes weren't doing so. "I know. And there are others who're equally talented to take that place. Besides, I don't give a damn who the actress is. My job's done when the book's done."

Aikawa looked beside her. God she wanted to jump up and down. Usami had finally shown that disgusting personality of his. This was the perfect time for that to come out and she couldn't be any happier.

It was so obvious that if Hanagida Shuue stayed longer, she'd just make a huge fool of herself. The best and the last thing she could do was throw a hateful glare at the man she had been targetting just a while ago before storming out of the room.

"Ms. Hanagida," Usami called. "Let's talk about your ring."

But the woman never looked back, vanishing from everyone's sight.

Usami, after tiredly shaking his head, turned to Aikawa once the room became quiet again. "Can you do the rest with the guest?"

"Uh...sure..."

The silverhaired man only glanced at the old man before motioning to move out himself. Honestly, he wasn't very pleased with the old man chirping the kid as a kleptomaniac in front of everyone. His animosity towards him just grew even more.

"Usami-san," Ueda-san called. "May I have a word with you?"

Waiving a hand telling his granddaughter to leave them alone, Ueda-san gave a very calm smile that Usami wondered what this was about. Everyone in the room had left already. The two of them left in that room was a little awkward.

"When Misaki-chan looked at me like that earlier...I knew he still hasn't told you about that side of him."

That made Usami who had not an ounce of interest chatting with the old man stay still.

"So I purposely said in front of everyone in this room earlier that Misaki's that way."

"What?"

Ueda-san looked around the messy study room before smiling back at Usami. "I wanted to see what your reaction is going to be."

"..."

"Ne, Usami-san, has he been taking things from you?"

The man grew quiet. Still, he figured there was no point in denying. "He has...just found out about it recently."

"Say...can we take a peek at Misaki-chan's room?"

* * *

It was about three in the morning. Finally, after all the exhausting farewells goodlucks and goodnights, the very long dinner party has ended. The catering services has just left. Even Aikawa who would normally beg to just stay the night, surprisingly mildly said that she'd go home.

Usami as his final gesture of politeness to everyone that night saw everyone to their cars. He'd shake hands, flash a smile and nod if needed.

As the man watched the very last blue car speed away, he gave a very deep sigh. The start of December had been crazy indeed. He'd never agree to such parties even if Aikawa begged with blood the next time.

"..."

He tucked his hands inside his slacks and felt the smell of the inevitable Winter scent. He slowly looked up, not to the sky or not to the stars. He looked towards the very top of the building where he lives. The pent house that wasn't visible from where he was right now, he suddenly wanted to be there.

His elevator ride was quiet. He only fixed his gaze at the floor pondering the things that happened. The minute he reached his floor, he went into his flat and crinkled his nose. After all the cleaning, he could still smell the faint alcohol and food in there.

As soon as he had turned the lights off the kitchen and the living area, he headed to the second floor. He realized that the closer he got to his own room, the tighter his chest was becoming. He drew a deep breath and then pushed the door softly open.

The first thing he saw was the lump on his bed. But the kid wasn't asleep. He must have been really bothered to have been staring like that at the ceiling with not even noticing someone by the door.

"Why are you still awake? It's almost four."

With obvious surprise, Misaki sat in the middle of the bed and crawled to the side. Usami didn't say anything else and just sat at the edge of the bed too.

Truthfully, he asked Misaki why the latter was still awake although he already knew the answer to that.

"You need a lot of sleep if you plan on mastering Kanji's you know."

The brunette gathered all his courage to look at the man square in the eyes. He wanted to say sorry. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to ask a second chance. But when he was already looking into the lavender orbs, he couldn't utter anything.

"Sleep," Usami mumbled, flicking the boy's forehead with a finger.

"B-but..."

"I said..." without warning, the man grabbed the boy's shoulders towards him and plopped the kid back down. He made sure though that the boy's head was snugly comfortable on his lap. "Sleep. Like this."

"Eh?"

Usami leaned over, pinning the boy with his gaze. Slowly then, Usami laid a hand over the boy's eyes closing them. "Close your eyes. And think of nothing else."

There was a long silence that ensued. But Usami never removed his gaze from the boy's trembling lips.

"I...I don't have to go?" Misaki asked in a voice like he was being strangled.

"You're not going anywhere."

Usami could feel wetness in his hands. And he truly wished that Misaki could just fall asleep like this. Because nothing in the world he had seen pierced him so greatly than earlier.

_"He's got a neat room,"_ Ueda-san commented as soon as they had entered the room serving as Misaki's own space. _"And he looks like he's studying hard..."_

Usami Akihiko that time just watched the old man wander about the brunette's room. He didn't know what this was about. But he just followed along. After all, this old man had known Misaki when the boy was still very young. He might learn something if he just waited.

_"You know Usami-san, even if Misaki-chan's a kleptomaniac...there was no way he'd steal Hanagida-san's ring."_

The old man sounded very confident as he ran his wrinkled hand over the neat blanket over Misaki's bed.

_"The boy does not care about precious jewelry or anything like that."_

_"..."_

Usami AKihiko looked around as well. He'd never barged in here again and totally left this space exclusively for Misaki after all. Seeing it with his own eyes, somehow made him sad for some reason. There was nothing but a bed and a few clothes neatly folded on the side. It lacked personality. A person's possession that should have been developed by now.

_"Did Misaki tell you about his Mom and him being undocumented?"_

_"He did."_

Ueda-san held on the edge of the blanket and tugged at it softly. He sighed and looked at Usami suddenly.

_"I heard from the rescuers that before they got Misaki-chan, the boy's been in the streets for a month, wandering endlessly."_

"..."

_"Imagine an eight-year old with no food or water? A concerned citizen saw him eating a page of a notebook in the streets you know?"_

Usami felt his jaws going rigid. The first time he saw Misaki, the boy was happily eating someone's left overs. And he was totally unconcerned that time.

_"His stealing streaks started from that time."_

The old man motioned for Usami to come closer to the neat bed. As soon as Usami was there, he nodded at the man.

_"Take the blanket off."_

_"Huh? What for?"_

_"Come on...just take it."_

Not wanting to argue anymore, Usami bent, grabbed the sheet and pulled it away. The things he saw made him speechless.

The neat bed was actually a mess under. Part of his collection, expensive old Raku and Satsuma tea cups going back hundreds of years he got from an auction were there beside the pillow. A few plastic and glass plates were also there. Spoon, fork, chopsticks were stacked together. There were a couple of bottled water and some bread with already an odd color.

Usami reached out to the bread. It was past over its expiration date.

He looked back again on the bed. From everything he could see, they were all connected to nothing but food.

_"He's been afraid you know? Like what's next if the person who took him throws him away too? To suffer with no food had been etched so greatly in him. I guess...he's really insecure and unstable where he stand. He could only sleep quietly with his loot. A sense of refuge if I may say..."_

_"..."_

_"Of course, Misaki-chan wasn't rejected because he's stealing plates and tea sets and canned goods...it was because of fear."_

_"...?"_

_"Misaki's just a child then but people can't help but think what if he grows older? He probably might start stealing more valuable items. They're afraid because they don't know and they don't understand."_

Usami knew what that meant. He wouldn't deny the second thoughts he had after all when he realized the things missing in his house. The Raku tea sets could be sold to extremely high prices in the market. He really thought...

_"I want to ask you if you still needed help with legitimizing Misaki-chan...but maybe I should ask you first if you still intend to take care of him after knowing all this?"_

The silverhaired man felt his knees lose their strength. He sat on the bed and continued flipping to the collection of trash on that bed. He really thought that the kid took those tea sets because of its price. But everything was just there. Including an empty bowl, ketchup sachets, crackers, tissue papers.

Usami felt a lump in his throat.

In the four months they'd lived together he thought he'd known the kid already. To think...there was this sad side going on just a door away and he didn't know?

Usami looked away and glanced at the study materials that Misaki seemed to really take great care of on the small table at the corner. Of course he wouldn't notice. Misaki was always this jumping, happy kid all the time. Always excited and yapping about how he's being able to read now. To imagine Misaki hugging these...these stupid things just to ease his fright every night?

_"My offer to him," _Usami whispered_. " ...has been for an indefinite period of time in the first place..."_

Feeling a gentle pat on his shoulder, Usami looked up. He saw the old man's kind smile although very vague.

_"For someone to shed a tear for Misaki-chan...I am very...very...relieved," _Ueda-san whispered_. "I have nothing to worry about anymore..."_

Usami drew a deep breath then as he opened his eyes.

"Ne Misaki...tomorrow we'll clean your room, alright?"

In an instant, the boy who was just docile suddenly removed the hand over his eyes. He stared hard at the man's eyes over his.

"B-but..."

"Misaki...no one's throwing you out. When you sleep, you'd wake up in the same bed, in the same house, with the same me."

"..."

Usami smiled, running a hand to Misaki's soft hair. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? It's me who...went out and touched and took all your things without permission..."

"Just...sorry... it took me long to realize what's going on with you."

The boy quietly gazed over the man's eyes. He'd always loved the turquoise hues of the old man he was close before. But now, there was not even a way for him to avert his gaze to somewhere. He's being drawn. He's being captured.

"Are you afraid?" Usami whispered.

Misaki closed his eyes. A little smile playing on his lips.

"I think...Usami-san...I'm getting...sleepy..."

Lightly, Usami started patting the boy's arm. Gently, in a timely rhythm. The man kept on doing it until he could hear the sound of a steady and much calmer breathing from the boy. Such a peaceful, sleeping face, Usami lightly pinched the boy's nose.

"Too trustful...don't be too much defenseless you idiot."

The man had no idea how long he'd been tapping the boy's arm or for how long he'd been staring at Misaki's sleeping face. It was just that when he noticed, a hint of sunlight was already trying to enter against the gap of the thick curtains of his floor to ceiling windows.

Usami looked at the rays silently. The rays that were getting more vivid and stronger by the minute.

The man wondered why. He had all the freedom not to watch the kid back in the shrine eat by the trash bin. He had all the chance in the world to ignore that dirty kid that night. He had no obligation to offer him a house, to help him and to watch over him. But he still did.

Usami heard it clearly. He could sense it so much. Deep in the recesses of his heart was a poem he never entertained before.

The boy on his lap stirred a little, squirming, and hugging at Usami's waist searching for more warmth and comfort. And in a snap of a finger, green eyes shot wide open. The boy looked left and right and up where waiting lavender eyes were peering down.

"U-Usami-san?!"

"Morning. You slept like a log."

"Eh...I did?" Misaki then decidedly moved to get up. But he was pushed back down, with Usami still looking down. "...?"

Truly, when Usami watches Misaki, the world takes a different color of its own. The bland ones get filled by lively hues and tones. Usami was able to see the world, the city, the seasons and his very own house at a different perspective.

Long fingers started removing a few of the boy's hairstrands over his cheeks and forehead. Misaki just stared back with his own pulse rising.

Slowly, gently, Usami came closer. His shadow enveloped all of what Misaki could see. The boy closed his eyes in reflex. And then felt a light kiss in between his brows.

"...?" Misaki gaped. Blinking at the searing sensation he could feel on the skin of his forehead.

"You will see many things, experience life and learn to become independent..." Usami said. "You'd explore the world and make up for the lost times."

"..."

"I hope though that I can be a place where you'll always return to."

Misaki held his breath. Usami just gazed down.

"This is my very first...real home...Usami-san..." the boy mumbled. "Of course this is where I will return to..."

Usami gazed down at the deep green orbs that were staring back at him. There was no mistake. The world had become different the moment he saw Misaki that day in the shrine.

Gently, the man lifted the boy up and hugged him. He couldn't have been any thankful that this kid who was no more than a stranger before came into his routine life. He had so many hopes and expectations from the boy. But the most important thing for now was the kid took a huge leap from relying on expired food and utensils to be able to sleep.

"I look forward to the many years to come, Misaki."

The boy may still be young. Not to mention late in all aspects compared to the others. But when he wrapped his thin arms around the man as his response, Misaki knew this was different. And he was excited too to know what will become of them in the future.

After a couple of minutes, both stood and side by side went to the kitchen. As usual Usami would be having coffee and Misaki would be having his milk. As usual Usami would be sitting by the sofa watching the early news and as usual Misaki would be running about the house to gather his study materials for his classes later.

This was their ordinary day to day life. An ordinary yet special day to day life. The very presence of each other no doubt, takes away their uneasiness. And what was more, they had passed one great hurdle. The bond just got tighter.

As the hours for that new chapter passed them by so fast, the sun had just risen but without feeling it, it has already settled back. Usami spent most of his day taking away all Misaki's loot while the latter's back to his special classes.

That night, Usami had the urge to check on Misaki before bedtime. The door was slightly left ajar. He could see the young kid staring blankly on the clean and neat bed. His loot he used to sleep with was nowhere.

Usami narrowed his eyes. One's way of living couldn't be changed in a flash. Misaki would probably sneak back to the kitchen and take a cup, a knife or anything that would make him feel at ease. So the man who vowed to protect and change the boy little by little slowly pushed the door open.

He eyed Misaki for long. The kid stared back questioningly.

"There's nothing to be afraid is there?" Usami started, resting his back against the doorframe. "I told you no one's throwing you out."

The boy just nervously stared at him towards his empty bed.

"Misaki...don't take this the wrong way..."

"...?"

"If you're still afraid being alone...without any of those things you cling to...you can sleep with me."

Misaki's eyes widened. He opened his mouth to say something but closed his lips in the end. When he just stood there, Usami released a sigh and a smile.

"I'll leave the door to my room open. Anyway...good night."

* * *

Usami Akihiko was a man who always chose to be alone. He lived collecting odd things from tea cups to toys to relieve his growing boredom. He would cling to his stuffed toys at night, sleeping with them and waking up with them.

That night, Usami felt something strange. In his dark room filled with odd collection of things, a change of scent filled his room. The huge stuffed bear he used to hug felt a lot skinny, felt a lot smaller, and felt a lot warmer.

Slowly opening his eyes, what he saw made him almost fall from his own bed. Under his arms was breathing and warm body. The bears always beside him never reached out to him like this one did. The warm arm actually was holding out to his waist. With a total trust, with a total dependence, that boy was sleeping with him. Usami wondered when Misaki crawled his way in.

"..."

Usami drew a deep breath as he went lying back on the bed. He carefully tugged the blanket over their bodies and watched Misaki's face closely. As the man gazed over the slightly fluttering eyelashes, as he listened to the steady breathing beside him, he felt his own eyes growing heavy. And then he was asleep. Without tossing, without any turning, he sighed contentedly.

It seemed like Misaki wasn't just the only one with difficulty sleeping alone. Tonight, after so many years for Usami, sleeping wasn't such a sad and lonely thing.

As they slept on the same bed on the same pillow, their breathing in rhythm, their heat spreading and warming each others hearts, they fell in a deep, deep and healing sleep.

_"Good night..."_

They weren't relatives. They weren't father or brother. And most of all they weren't lovers.

However, there was something inevitable that would come sooner or later.

They met by instinct. An instinct that belonged solely to those who're fated.

**end**

* * *

**Chapter end notes:**

hi everyone! XDethank you for reading and please share your thoughts!

ohh...i don't know much about somewhere else, but tea sets are actually big in Japan. drinking tea, and the tea sets are expressions of art as well and the Raku tea sets (those old ones specially) are really expensive. they have a much simpler appearance compared to the Satsuma earthenware. i used to not appreciate them, but their beauty just grows with time. like a person. so i guess that's why their prices are also getting high and higher too. XD

-shuusetsu


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